Table of Contents

• 1. Forgiveness Is for You

Although I’ve grown in wisdom and maturity over the years, I still consider myself a young woman with much to learn. Life has a way of teaching us lessons we could never learn from books alone, and I know there are many more lessons waiting for me in the years ahead.

Looking back, however, there are several truths I wish I had understood much earlier.

Some would have saved me from unnecessary heartache.

Some would have saved me time.

Others completely changed the way I view life, relationships, and my walk with God.

Whether you’re younger than me, older than me, or somewhere in between, I hope these lessons encourage you as much as they have shaped me.

Here are seven things I wish I knew sooner.

1. Forgiveness Is for You

Who can honestly say they have never hurt someone or been hurt by someone else?

It’s simply part of being human.

We all have different personalities, backgrounds, expectations, and ways of seeing the world. Because of this, misunderstandings and disappointments are inevitable. Sometimes people hurt us intentionally. Other times, they don’t even realise the impact of their words or actions.

While this doesn’t excuse wrongdoing, it reminds us why forgiveness is so important.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the choice to forgive.

Notice I said yourself, not the other person.

Many people think forgiveness is about letting someone “off the hook.” I see it differently. Forgiveness is about freeing your own heart from the burden of resentment.

When we refuse to forgive, we often carry anger, bitterness, and pain far longer than the person who caused it. In many cases, they’ve moved on with their lives while we’re still replaying the hurt in our minds.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.

Choosing to forgive doesn’t mean pretending the hurt never happened. It doesn’t mean saying what was done was acceptable, nor does it always mean reconciliation is possible.

It simply means refusing to allow yesterday’s wounds to continue controlling today’s life.

Yeshua taught the importance of forgiveness when He said:

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

— Matthew 6:14–15

Forgiveness is rarely easy.

Sometimes it’s a process rather than a single decision.

But every step towards forgiveness is a step towards freedom.

I’ve learned that peace begins when we release what God never asked us to carry.

Forgive—not because the other person deserves it, but because your heart deserves to be free.

2. Not Every Relationship Is Meant to Last

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that not every relationship is meant to last forever.

Whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, a work relationship, or even someone who simply crosses your path for a short season, every person enters your life for a reason.

Some people stay for a lifetime.

Others stay only long enough to teach you something you needed to learn.

For a long time, I struggled with letting people go.

I thought that if a relationship ended, then somehow I had failed.

Over time, however, God showed me that not every ending is a failure. Sometimes it is simply the completion of a season.

Just as the seasons of the year change, so do the seasons of our lives.

Some relationships encourage us.

Some challenge us.

Some expose weaknesses in our character that God wants to transform.

Others prepare us for the people He intends to bring into our future.

Rather than asking, “Why did this relationship end?” I’ve learned to ask, “What was God teaching me through this relationship?”

That single question changed my perspective.

Instead of dwelling on what I had lost, I began appreciating what I had gained.

Every relationship has the potential to teach us something about ourselves, about others, or about God.

Some lessons are joyful.

Others are painful.

But both can help us grow.

This doesn’t mean we should stop investing in people or expect every relationship to end.

Quite the opposite.

We should love people wholeheartedly while remembering that only God remains constant throughout every season of life.

People may come and go.

God never does.

When we place our identity and security in Him rather than in other people, we can appreciate relationships without depending on them for our sense of worth.

As Scripture reminds us:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

— Ecclesiastes 3:1

Some people are part of one season.

A precious few will walk beside you for many seasons.

Both are gifts from God.

Learn from each one, be grateful for each one, and trust God with every goodbye.

3. Use Your Single Years to Grow

One of the greatest misconceptions I believe society has about singleness is that it is merely a season of waiting.

Waiting for a relationship.

Waiting for marriage.

Waiting for someone to complete your life.

I don’t see it that way.

I believe our single years are one of God’s greatest opportunities for growth.

If your desire is to one day find a life partner, remember that not every relationship you enter will end in marriage. Most won’t.

Knowing that, wouldn’t it be wiser to spend less time searching for “the one” and more time becoming the kind of person you hope to spend your life with?

Imagine wanting to discover diamonds.

Would you randomly dig holes wherever you happened to be, hoping to strike gold?

Or would you first study the landscape, gather the right tools, and prepare yourself for the work ahead?

I believe relationships deserve the same wisdom.

Rather than rushing into one relationship after another, use your single years to build a strong foundation for your future.

Develop your character.

Strengthen your faith.

Heal from past wounds.

Learn how to communicate well.

Grow in wisdom.

Become emotionally and spiritually healthy.

These are the qualities that help build lasting relationships.

We often spend a great deal of time improving our outward appearance, yet neglect what is happening within us.

Both matter.

Take care of your body, but don’t neglect your heart.

Invest in your appearance, but also invest in your character.

If you can afford to improve your wardrobe, you can also invest in your personal growth.

If unresolved pain is holding you back, don’t be afraid to seek help and begin the journey toward healing.

The healthier you become, the healthier your future relationships are likely to be.

I’ve often thought about the qualities people hope to find in a partner.

Many people want someone who is kind, emotionally mature, trustworthy, successful, patient, and loving.

A question worth asking ourselves is:

Am I becoming the kind of person I hope to marry?

Instead of focusing solely on finding the right person, allow God to shape you into the right person.

When the time is right, you’ll be far better prepared to recognise a healthy relationship and nurture it well.

Singleness is not a punishment.

It is preparation.

Use it wisely.

4. Isolation Is Your Best Friend

If there is one lesson I wish I had learned earlier, it is the value of intentional solitude.

Whenever God wanted to transform me, He often led me into seasons where everything became quieter.

Fewer distractions.

Fewer voices.

More time with Him.

I’ve come to realise that some of the greatest changes in our lives don’t happen in crowded rooms—they happen in quiet places where God has our full attention.

For me, one simple formula captures this truth:

Isolation + Revelation (from God) = Transformation.

By isolation, I don’t mean withdrawing from people out of fear, bitterness, or loneliness.

I mean intentionally stepping away from the noise of everyday life to spend time in prayer, reflection, fasting, and God’s Word.

It is often in those quiet moments that God reveals who we truly are, gently exposes the areas of our lives that need changing, and begins the work of transforming us from the inside out.

Yeshua Himself demonstrated this.

Before beginning His public ministry, He withdrew into the wilderness, where He fasted for forty days and forty nights.

It was there, in a place of solitude, that He was tempted by Satan.

Expect Opposition During Transformation

During my own seasons of isolation, I often felt as though I was walking through a wilderness.

There were times of fasting.

Times of waiting.

Times of uncertainty.

Looking back, I realised something important.

Whenever God is preparing you for something greater, distractions have a habit of appearing at exactly the wrong moment.

I like to think of these distractions as “wild animals in the wilderness.”

Sometimes they appear as unhealthy relationships.

Sometimes as old habits trying to pull you backwards.

Sometimes as fear, doubt, temptation, or discouragement.

Sometimes they even come disguised as good opportunities that quietly distract you from God’s best.

Whatever form they take, their purpose is the same—to draw your attention away from what God is doing in your life.

Yeshua encountered this in the wilderness when Satan repeatedly tempted Him to abandon His mission.

Yet He remained steadfast because He knew who He was and stood firmly on the Word of God.

That example reminds me that whenever I feel distracted during seasons of growth, I should not panic.

Instead, I should remain focused on God.

Transformation Happens in the Quiet Places

If you are believing God for significant change in your life, don’t be afraid to spend time alone with Him.

Step away from the constant noise.

Turn off the distractions.

Pray.

Fast.

Read Scripture.

Reflect.

Allow God to speak into your life.

Some of the greatest transformations begin in the quiet places where no one else is watching.

It is there that God prepares us for what He has prepared for us.

As Yeshua declared when responding to Satan:

“Away from Me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.'”

— Matthew 4:10

When we keep our eyes fixed on God, every distraction loses its power.

Sometimes the path to becoming the person God created you to be begins with something as simple—and as difficult—as learning to be still in His presence.

5. Always Read the Instruction Manual

This one always makes me laugh because it comes from personal experience.

You would think that after buying something new, the obvious thing to do would be to read the manufacturer’s instruction manual before using it.

Apparently, I didn’t always think so.

For years, I had a habit of creating my own version of the instructions. I would glance over the manual just enough to convince myself I understood it, then rely on my instincts for the rest.

Needless to say, that strategy rarely ended well.

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at the amount of unnecessary time, frustration, and trial-and-error I could have avoided if I had simply read the instructions from the beginning.

That lesson taught me something far greater than how to assemble furniture or operate new gadgets.

It taught me something about life.

If we trust a manufacturer to know how their product works best, shouldn’t we trust our Creator to know how we were designed to live?

God created us.

He understands us better than we understand ourselves.

Yet so often we try to navigate life by writing our own instruction manual instead of following His.

The Bible is more than a collection of stories.

It is God’s instruction manual for life.

Within its pages, we find wisdom for our relationships, our decisions, our purpose, our character, and our walk with Him.

How many mistakes, detours, and unnecessary heartaches could we avoid if we sought God’s wisdom before making our own plans?

That doesn’t mean life will always be easy.

But it does mean we are allowing the One who sees the beginning and the end to guide our steps.

As Proverbs reminds us:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

— Proverbs 3:5–6

So, here’s one piece of advice from someone who has learned this lesson the hard way:

Read the instruction manual.

It will save you far more time and heartache than you can imagine.

6. Build Every Relationship on a Solid Foundation

Whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, a family relationship, or even a professional one, every lasting relationship is built on a solid foundation.

Think about constructing a house.

No matter how beautiful the house may look from the outside, it will never stand for long if its foundation is weak. The first storm, strong wind, or flood will expose every weakness beneath it.

Relationships are no different.

Many relationships today are built on physical attraction, material possessions, social status, or convenience. While those things may draw two people together, they are not strong enough to keep them together.

The strongest relationships are built on trust.

Honesty.

Respect.

Shared values.

Commitment.

Selflessness.

And above all, God.

One lesson I wish I had learned much sooner is that you cannot build a lasting relationship on a shaky foundation.

The Bible repeatedly describes God as our Rock—a symbol of strength, stability, protection, and faithfulness.

David declared:

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.”

— Psalm 18:2

Again he wrote:

“Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”

— Psalm 62:2

God never changes.

His character is constant.

His love is steadfast.

His promises endure forever.

If He is the surest foundation we have, shouldn’t our relationships be built upon Him?

Yeshua echoed this truth when He compared two builders.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

— Matthew 7:24–25

The storms came to both houses.

The difference wasn’t the storm.

The difference was the foundation.

Life will test every relationship.

There will be misunderstandings.

Disagreements.

Hard seasons.

Unexpected challenges.

A relationship built only on attraction or emotions often struggles when those storms arrive.

But a relationship built on Christ has something far stronger holding it together.

The Apostle Paul wrote:

“For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

— 1 Corinthians 3:11

That verse changed the way I think about relationships.

Instead of asking whether someone is attractive, successful, or interesting, I now ask a different question:

What is this relationship being built on?

Because whatever the foundation is today will determine whether the relationship still stands years from now.

Whether you’re building a friendship, preparing for marriage, strengthening your family, or developing a professional relationship, invest more time in laying a strong foundation than decorating the walls.

A beautiful house may impress people.

A strong foundation protects it.

Likewise, a beautiful relationship may inspire others, but only a godly foundation will help it endure.

As believers, our foundation is not merely good advice or human wisdom.

Our foundation is Yeshua Hamashiach—the Rock of our salvation.

Build on Him, and when the storms of life come—as they surely will—you will discover that what is built on the Rock cannot easily be shaken.

7. Commit Everything to God

If there is one lesson that has transformed my life more than any other, it is this:

Commit everything to God.

How many of us pause to seek God’s guidance before accepting a new job, entering a relationship, making a major purchase, or pursuing a new opportunity?

If we’re honest, many of us make our plans first and then ask God to bless them afterwards.

I’ve done it myself.

Too often, we rely on our own understanding, our emotions, or the opinions of others before we stop to ask the One who already knows the outcome.

Imagine how much time, heartache, and unnecessary detours we could avoid if we sought God’s wisdom before making life’s biggest decisions.

He sees what we cannot.

He knows the end from the beginning.

Nothing ever surprises Him.

The Bible encourages us:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”

— Proverbs 16:3

Notice that Scripture doesn’t say we should simply ask God to approve our plans.

It invites us to place our plans into His hands.

Sometimes God confirms the direction we want to take.

Sometimes He lovingly redirects us toward something better.

Looking back over my own life, I can see countless moments when doors closed that I desperately wanted to walk through.

At the time, I was disappointed.

Today, I thank God for every closed door.

He was protecting me from paths that were never meant for me and gently leading me toward the purpose He had prepared instead.

That is why I no longer measure success by whether everything goes according to my plans.

I measure success by whether I am walking in God’s will.

His plans may not always be the easiest.

They may not always make sense in the moment.

But they are always wiser than mine.

As Solomon reminds us:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

— Proverbs 3:5–6

Every lesson in this article has led me back to the same conclusion.

Forgive quickly.

Use your seasons of singleness wisely.

Don’t fear solitude with God.

Read His instruction manual.

Build your relationships on the Rock.

And above all else…

Commit everything to God.

When you place your life in the hands of the One who created you, you can move forward with confidence, knowing that whatever lies ahead, you will never walk alone.

Final Thoughts

Life has taught me many lessons, and I know there are countless more still to come.

If I could go back and speak to my younger self, these are the seven truths I would share.

They have changed the way I think.

The way I love.

The way I make decisions.

Most importantly, they have changed the way I walk with God.

I haven’t mastered any of them perfectly.

I’m still learning.

I’m still growing.

But one thing I know with certainty is this:

A life surrendered to God is never a life wasted.

As I continue this journey, my prayer is that these lessons encourage you to seek God’s wisdom above your own, trust His timing, and discover the peace that comes from walking closely with Him.

After all, the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned isn’t simply one of these seven.

It’s that life is at its very best when it is lived with God at the centre.